Pushups are scary aren’t they? They’re damn hard and no one wants to look bad doing them. So if pushing your body weight off the ground makes you feel like Miss Piggy, quit the bitching, I have some tricks for you. Pushups are hard because they really work. When done properly, pushups will give you amazingly lean arms, burn off that that jiggly junk AND perk up those wonderful tatas (a.k.a. boobs). People are impressed by women who do pushups. Own it. You’ll also greatly increase your core strength (ahem that means flattening your tummy) and start to lose unwanted pounds. Oh, I forgot to mention that women who can do pushups generally fall in to the category of badass bitches. Go ahead and make an appointment at a tattoo parlor now.
The problem is many of us can’t do enough pushups (or our form is really bad) to get in a proper workout. So let’s do a little test to see if you can do a real pushup. Take a look at the pictures below and pay attention to the following details.
- TOP POSITION – Body position is completely straight, abs and thighs tight, arms strong and locked with the chest flexed, nose is facing the floor
- HALFWAY POSITION – Body remains completely straight and fully tensed with elbows bending backwards skimming the ribs (no chicken wings)
- BOTTOM POSITION – Body remains completely straight and fully tensed with elbows by your sides and nose is 1 inch from the floor
- PUSH UP! – Pressing up should happen in one smooth and controlled motion, with no bend in the body (imagine your body as one whole unit that you are pressing up). Pay attention to the lower back, if it bends, flex your abs to keep it straight.
So how’d you do? If you struggled, these steps are for you.
Step 1. Start with the end
Get into the top position of a pushup (basically a plank). Hands about shoulder with apart and elbows facing your feet, not chicken winged. Focus on locking out your arms and squeezing your triceps and chest. Keep your head in a neutral position with your nose directly in line with the floor. Tighten your abs, and thighs and make sure your toes are planted firmly into the floor. Now hold this, squeezing everything, for 1 minute (don’t forget to breathe).
Step 2. The horrid bottom position
From the top position in step 1, keep your body as straight as an arrow and drop down with your elbows sliding back skimming your ribs. If your arms start to chicken wing outwards, adjust your hand position so your elbows point behind you towards your feet. When your nose is about an inch from the ground, hold for 30 seconds and squeeze everything. This one hurts.
Step 3. The half-pushup top down
From the top position, lower your body with control so your elbows reach a 90-degree angle (or when your body is about halfway down) and press up in a controlled motion keeping your body stick straight. Go for 10 repetitions.
Step 4. The half-pushup bottom up
From the bottom position in step 2, press up until your elbows are at 90-degree angles from the floor and go back down to the step 2 position. Again, use a controlled press up and controlled drop back down (no bouncing). Go for 10.
Step 5. The negative
From the top position in step 1, drop very slowly counting to 5 to reach the step 2 bottom position. Make your way back up to the step 1 position however you like. Go for 10.
Now here’s your fun workout. Do this routine twice a week, and you’ll be blasting out real pushups very, very soon.
(take a 1 minute rest between each set)
Exercise 1: 5 sets of 1 minute holds of the top position
Exercise 2: 5 sets of 30 second holds of the bottom position
Exercise 3: 4 sets of 10 repetitions half pushup top down
Exercise 4: 4 sets of 10 repetitions half pushup bottom up
Exercise 5: 4 sets of 10 repetitions negatives
To free boob lifts,
Party Smart. Sweat Smarter.